Tuesday, May 17, 2005

The Whatever Diaries... Part II

Can somebody tell me what I am? Can someone tell me the difference between the Normal, the Paranormal and the Subnormal? Why should it be such that I have to go through the path that has been traversed by so-called "Normal" people?

So many questions, so many questions. I think so much. I should not. I know, but then, I cannot. It just goes on and on and one fine day it all comes out. I am known to be a cool headed guy, one who can even kill in cold blood. I know that sounds scary, but then, thats how I am. There are so many things that should be left unstated. But they are not. There are so many different nodes that should be left unconnected, but they are not. This office thing is really getting to me. The pressures are too much. However, I know that I could have done without all this shit. But then again, I revel under pressures. Actually, the office is one place where I can forget everything and work as one. But then again, the more problems that I have, the more time I end up spending in the office. The more time I spend in the office, the lesser time I get to solve my own problems. The lesser time I get to solve my problems, the lesser my problems get solved. So then, Mr. Sagnik Ghose, you have got the Entire Cursed Circle. Therefore, thy are doomed unto eternity.

I return to one of my favourite topics yet again. The Lord of the Rings. How would it have been if the One Ring forged by the Great Lord Sauron would have ended up in my fingers? Could I have defended myself against the overpowering urge to keep it? Would the Ring with a Mind of Its Own start to come alive in my fingers? Would I have the urge to keep the ring now that the people would be laying prostate before it? What if the Nine Great Kings had a pact that would have erased out the memory of the One again?

And last but certainly not the least, Who is the Lord of the Rings? Is it the One ring? Is it Sauron? Is it Gollum? Is it Frodo? Is it...???

What did Tolkien intend to write when he penned the LOTR? The theme of the story was what? Was it the eternal fight of Good over evil? What was the reason for him writing the LOTR in the first place? A novel of such epic proportions would have to be written with one definite cause, isnt it? I dont find any reason why it is so. But then again, maybe he has gone through the same struggles that I have gone through. At the end of it all, I believe that it depends on you what you want to become. Like I decided one fine day that its time to take charge of my life. So then, I became what I am now, The Game. If you have to play, you will first have to go through me. Thats what fun for me. Putting carcasses all around when there is competition around is what I revel in. Thats where I belong. Thats where I should be. That's where I am Me!!!

Ok, so you think I am a Narcissist to the core, ready to dissolve when I am looking at the mirror day in and day out. But there are sides of me which you have not seen. There is the weak side of me which you havent gotten enough time or opportunity to see. There is the Nice Guy side of me which you have not seen. There is the cruel side of me which you haven't seen. There is the side also which makes me all melted when I see Sush. There is a side of me which hates my cousin from the bottom of my heart. You haven't seen that.

Therefore, my friend. I am an enigma. Unravel me. If for nobody else's sake, just for me. I need it. I need to know myself.

I need help. And I need it fast, otherwise I am gonna go mad.

Love, laughter n keep the Faith


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