I have been gaining more and more insights into the female mind as a result of my increased interactions with the fairer sex, and I have often pondered the reason as to why women have so many difficulties when it comes to choosing their partners.
I am of the opinion that men who have resources of one sort or another which could be put on the line do indeed take many risks than those who have "nothing to lose". This causes them to be much more cautious than their less able or fortunate comrades.
However, men who don't hit on women are by and large invisible to them, causing what are called severe "selection effects" to be experienced by women, a bias which they themselves are almost entirely unaware of. The net effect is for women, through their passive sampling method, to grossly underestimate the suitability of what they think is the “typical male. I have heard time and again the common phrase “An erect male organ has no conscience” or “Males think through their d****”. How true is that?
For the better half of the two earlier centuries, we have been conditioned to understand that Males have invented Monogamy in order to keep a check on females of the species.
I cannot overemphasize the numerous ramifications of this. The principle one is that the male with "something to offer" is not generally valued appropriately (contrary to all the verbiage suggesting that he would be), but instead is immediately put on the defensive upon contact with a female, having to prove to her that he's "not like all the others", which of course he is forced to be the second he takes the initiative demanded by the woman's inaction. It's yet another "damned if you do, damned if you don't" no-win bind for men.
Therefore, what should the common male (by using such a value loaded term, I do not wish to fall into that never completing argument about using gender neutral specifications while writing on sociological topics, apologies Ruchira Di)do? A commenter on my blog once stated that he had started his relationship with his partner by narrating to her the fact that he had medical problems. He has stated thus that she was the one who had "accepted" him as he is... But is that it?
I would not agree. I would rather state that the girl (assuming it was a girl... many apologies, but we do live in a free society...) was rather impressed with the fact that the person had actually come upto her and started off the relationship on a clean slate. That, my dear friend, is a much better and admirable trait in a human being.
Whatever it is, I am of the opinion that a person who has the capacity to stand out from the crowd would be the one who wins the gal's heart... How he decides to do it is his (and her's) prerogative. Whether it is with complete honesty, ot being a terrific kisser, or being a woman's man (yeah yeah, all that stuff about being a good listener et al), the man has to decide.
A tactful business this, falling in love!!! But the rewards are great!
Love, laughter n keep the Faith