Tuesday, August 09, 2005

I wanted to dance...

I would really want to dance with one person who matters to me right now. If I ever wanted to do that one thing that would make me THE happiest person in the world, it was dance. I know that it may come as a surprise to most people that the very object of me writing on this Web Log (for that is what a Blog is, essentially), is for me to get some matters out of my system, but should I really hafta care about what some people are telling me what to do and where to do whatever he or she is doing?

I think not. At the moment, I am in a state of mind that can neither be described as sad, nor can it be called happy. I am insecure, for that is what we leos have perhaps been bred, and yet, I revel in the security of some of the nicest people on planet earth. I have had the opportunity of experiencing tremendous highs, and have had the misfortune of seeing tremendous lows. But the fact remains, and it has been a recurrent theme through most of my posts, that I have survived and have lived to tell the tale, perhaps not to my grandchildren, for I would not live till then, but definitely to my brothers.

Which brings me to another facet of my musings, Life. What exactly is it?

Zindagi, kaisi hai paheli haai,
Kabhi to hasaae,
Kabhi to rulaae
Zindagi...


But is that only what life is? Is that what it entails? to laugh and cry with equal candour? or does it also entail a host of other stuff? Are we really in the matrix? Are we actually stuck up in some sticky gooey substance in a small capsule somewhere whereas programmers have actually fed data inside us so that we believe that we exist, whereas all of it is a facade, a farce?

I believe it is a farce, a mere facade.

However, this is where I differ from the others. I believe that the real world, the other world, the one which is not surreal, is beautiful, not blackened and sad as the one that we had seen in matrix. I believe that we have only to lift the iron mask in front of our eyes to see the real world. And my word, I believe that we should have some sight to see.

There is no red pill and blue pill. There is no right and wrong. There is no concept of facing the court for mercies given or wrongs done. For there exists something which is far far above all these trivial planes of existence. I believe that there is a world where there is nothing but enough. Sounds confusing?

Let me explain. For most of the problems that we face, we understand that the problems are mainly created because there is not enough supply to deal with the demand. So then, the available supply is gotten at a much higher rate, because of the market forces. Now let us apply the theory to real life situations, for example, what else, but my favourite subject, such as politics? Let us say that there is a single President's Post. Now then, the very fact that there is a single post makes it all the more lucrative for the "common man". He thinks that it is the be-all-and-end-all of all that looks right inside the University. Hence he goes for it. There is tremendous battle, Someone wins, someone loses, and someone else becomes a hero overnight. If, for example, we give the title President to each and every one of us, or if there are four hundred President's Posts available, would you had taken even one of them? Since there are enough, there is no fighting, no sense of insecurity at the fillip that it would give to one person at the cost of another. Therefore, there exists perfect harmony.

Uh huh, some people would say, "What rot, the very post of President implies that it should be one, how the F*** can there be four hundred???". I understand, I comprehend, and I laugh at these people, if this is the question that is going on in your mind, I feel pathetic about you. You have not understood the very point about the whole diatribe of mine.

Let us take another example. For example, if in a football field, every one of the players is given a ball to play with, would there be a fight with one ball? I dont think so, but I also think that if I were to advance this argument in front of most of my fellow people, I would have to deal with perhaps the hardest knuckles in the arena. (Ratnadeep, this one's for you, kid) he he.

Therefore, I return to the original theme of mine, dancing. There is a need, an urgent and a creative need in me to dance. I need to let out my strength, my force, and to get lost in her arms, her eyes, her perfect smile, her laughter. And I need to go higher than anyone has ever gone before. Lakshman had once said that my posts are cathartic in nature. I dont think they are. They are more analytical, more cold, more calculating in nature.

I havent quite seen eyes like hers before. They are of a very undecided colour of black, like they dont know whether they should be brown, black or slate grey. Imparting a sort of defiance in her face they are too, but then, her soft jawline takes the edge away. Anyone who has been close to her, and looked at her eyes when speaking, could not but have fallen in love with her. I did, and thank god I met her! I quite do not understand how it is that a person like her could be suffering from inferiority complex, and that too so badly. She is the best, and she should know that. I know it, because I feel it, every moment that she is there with me, I can feel the power running through her. And I feel strenghthened.

God, I love her.

Love, laughter n keep the Faith,

Sagnik

2 comments:

Sagnik Nandy said...

bah boss heavy likhecho to - all the best for yoru love story :)

EvolutioN said...

shuru hoyeni guru... shuru hoyeni...

but i have fallen for her, hook, line and sinker!!!

Love, laughter n keep the Faith

S

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Loves,

Evo